You know you're a parent and an endurance athlete if...

Sleep is a thing of the past.

You rarely see your significant other because when you finish your workout, they're off for theirs.  Someone has to stay with the kids!

You've ever gone to the gym at a certain time so your kids could see thier friends (who were also at the gym at a certain time so they could see their friends).

You've ever asked which stroller has the least rolling resistance.

You've ever chosen a gym based on child care.

You've ever cleaned children's toys out of the bathtub so you can get in, fully clothed, after that long ride or run in the rain.

You've ever hired a babysitter so you can workout.

You've ever fed the kids dinner in their stroller,while you trained.  Or you ran with the stroller over to a local restaurant and picked up food for the kids, then had them eat while you ran back.

You don't buy sippy cups.  The kids get all they need in bottles in the shwag bags from races.

You've ever worn a macaroni necklace during your workout, or anything similar.

The "Mom Song" is one of your favorite workout songs.

You've ever evaluated a bicycle for it's ability to pull a trailer.

Your expensive race bike is stored next a a pink bike with training wheels or a spiderman bike.

Working out IS your quiet time.

You have to check your workout shoes for action figures, toy cars, and barbie accessories.

You look forward to a workout because you might actually get to pee by yourself.

You've ever used the wii fit while holding a newborn.

You finally get out the door for your workout and you realize you're wearing your child's breakfast.

You know exactly how much time you'll get during nap time.

You've ever planned your workout around Spongebob or Sesame Street.

You've ever put the kid(s) to bed late so you don't have to get up as early for the morning workout.

You've ever used the stroller or trailer to get gear somewhere during a workout.  Without kids.

You can expertly combine workout time for you and play time for the kid(s).

You know which trainer to buy to minimize the risk to little fingers.  Or toes.  Or tongues.

You've ever had to explain that, no, an ironman is not Tony Stark.

You've ever put a bike with training wheels on your trainer to appease a kid.

You've ever had to explain that the medal you came home with meant you finished, not that you won.

You've ever had to schedule your races or training around play dates.

You've ever wondered how old the kids have to be before you can start entering them in races.

You've ever run out of people to watch the kids.

You know you can use baby wipes to clean countless workout accessories, and you'll probably still stock the wipes when you no longer need them for the kids.

You've ever stored your workout nutrition in leftover milk storage bags.

You let your kids drink your leftover workout drink so it doesn't get wasted (without caffeine, of course!).

You brag more about your five year old running her first 1k last month than the 5k you just won this morning.

When your child climbs up the bike that you've spent an exhaustive amount of time and money on, and kept it meticulously clean, and all you do is take pictures.

The only thing you eat after a hard workout is whatever is leftover from the kids' breakfast or lunch.

Your two year old son wears a swim cap and your five year old daughter can expertly put it on him, then another on herself.

You've ever used, or considered using a sippy cup for your nutrition needs during racing or training.

You've ever had to skip songs on the mp3 player while you were working out because they were from your kid's playlist.

You note on your workout logs where you had to slow or stop your workout to help your child with homework. (If you use TrainerRoad, you note it in the notes section that your power dropped because you were helping/dealing with a kid.)

You've ever used kids as an excuse to get out of a workout.

You've ever stored any of your workout supplies in a lopsided clay pot.

There are diapers and wipes in your triathlon bag.

You've got to scroll through the cartoons on your dvr to get to the stuff you wanted to watch while you were on your trainer.

You've ever used nipple cream to prevent chafing anywhere.  Including your nipples.

You've ever extensively researched just how much exercise you could do when you were pregnant, then got told you were doing too much. (Moms)

You've ever stood in front of a mirror and lined up "the girls" before walking outside of your bedroom in a tri suit. (Moms)

You've ever run with a jogging stroller, or trailered the kids behind your bike and called it "training."

My favorites:

Your child wants to do a race like mommy or daddy does.

Your child understands the importance of starting and finishing.  And that winning isn't crucial to a good race.

Why trainer and treadmill work are (in my opinion) important to any good training program...

There, I said it.  The boring, mind numbing, OH-MY-GOSH-THIS-WORKOUT-IS-NEVER-GOING-TO-END, work that involves a treadmill or a bicycle trainer (better known as dreadmill and drainer, muahahahahaha) is important to a triathlon training program in my opinion.  With winter setting in for the Northern Hemisphere, many of us relegate ourselves to hours of indoor riding/running.  Despite the mindsuck that is trainer riding/ or treadmill running, this is something that is an important piece of the triathlon puzzle for me.  Here's why:

No breaks, unless I take them.
When I'm out for a ride on the road, even on the flats, I can get to a point where I can stop pedaling and coast for a bit.  Not true on the trainer.  If I stop pedaling, the trainer stops.  Constantly pedaling, constant effort.  It's the same on a treadmill.
Of course, there are the breaks that I take... More on this in my next blog post...

Increased resistance... (trainer)
I've found that it takes more effort to push those pedals a similar distance when my bike is properly installed on the the trainer.  And, depending on the model of the trainer, I might even be able to increase the resistance even more.
Increased speed... (treadmill)
I've found out how fast I can really go under controlled circumstances, leading to greater gains in the wild.  Ideally.
Unsolicited advice:
The biggest thing here is if you are running this seriously that you care about times and gains and are keeping track of your miles, you should consider investing in a high quality gps heart rate monitor.  One that can keep track of your mileage inside and out.  The reason here is that I started to discover inconsistencies between treadmills and their speeds.  The key is that I calibrated my gps monitor about two weeks after I buy every  new pair of shoes. I'll post more about that later this month.

Cadence:
You can keep it where you want it for as long as you want it.  Well, if your legs hold out!!!  Thanks to tougholdbuzzard for pointing out this one, you can keep your cadence where you want it for a specified amount of time.  Combined with resistance, this makes for a MEAN workout!  This goes for both the bike and the treadmill. No dodging or running from dogs, cars, geese, or snakes (Texas, remember?)  I seem to remember my running and cycling mentors nagging me to keep my cadence high for both cycling and running, and, well, my training still reflects that teaching.  So, depending on what metric you use for training, cadence can be an important factor.  It's one of the few that I look at on a post run analysis (distance, speed, time, cadence:  that's it)

Inclement weather...
Pretty obvious here.  But what sends one person indoors may just be another day on the course for another...

The pros do it...
 Do I need any other reason?  Okay, so I'm kidding.  But, the pros do it. Companies that make money producing indoor workout videos for cycling make a big point of counting how many of the podium winners at each big race use their videos.  Lately I've been hearing more and more about treadmill videos!  But pros don't typically do useless workouts.  And as I get more and more educated about the elements of workouts the pros do and why, I'm adapting my workouts as well.

I want to point out that I'm not saying take ALL your workouts indoors.  I'm saying that I think I should do a few workouts a week indoors, and that I think treadmills and trainers are valuable to a triathlon training program the way that a race belt is to a marathoner.  Valuable, probably helpful, but not necessary.

There are many more reasons...  I'll update my blog post as readers give me some great reasons.

Why do YOU take your workout indoors, and why do you believe it's a necessary part of any good training program?

Open letter to a fellow treadmill, uh, runner?

With winter setting in for the northern hemisphere, many of us are moving our workouts indoors.  Well, those of us who don't have a support crew that we occasionally, uh, need a, uh, short, period away from that causes us to occasionally have an indoor workout anyway.  I'll call a spade a spade, and admit I'm a weenie for running indoors in 40 degree weather (truthfully, my favorite is 50ish and clear) but yeah, it's for the support crew.  That's right, I'm keeping them comfortable.  Suuuuurrrreee I am......  And honestly, the whole: "He's touching me," "MAMA DAWGEE!" "He's breathing on me!" "SCREEECH!" "MOOOOMMMMMMMY, he's LOOKING at me!" wears me out more than running a half marathon in Texas heat can.

Um, so what do you do?  It's not like running faster helps much.  And I don't think that CPS would look kindly on me force feeding them cheetos to keep them happy for a two hour run.

So I move my winter workouts inside quite often.  And the cardio cinema at Gold's Gym is great.  Could you think of a better way to pass two hours than to have someone else take care of the support crew while you run on a treadmill and Indiana Jones saves the day, yet again.  I mean talk about motivation.  Could you imagine snakes and house size boulders behind you in the dark, and if you stop running or slow down, you'll get smooshed?

But this latest treadmill workout brought out something that I, thankfully, don't see very often.  So I figured I'd put it in letter form.



Dear dude on the treadmill next to me today.

1.  Axe body spray in copious amounts is not recommended before your workout.  It does not work like a magnet for the chicks to your "manliness" like the commercial says.  Please reconsider before you have to start purchasing gas masks for the people around you.

2.  The aforementioned axe body spray does not hide the fact that you are not wearing deodorant.  Yes it's gross. Yes, you need it.  Please reconsider before you come back to the gym.

3.  Sharting is real.  Yes, I can tell you did it.  No, the previously mentioned axe body spray and lack of deodorant does not hide that you (a) failed to wipe your bottom, or (b) lifted so much weight before coming over to the treadmills that you are now experiencing anal leakage.

The tears in my eyes have nothing to do with the fact that I'm so grateful that an Adonis like you had the time to run on a treadmill next to me in what you must still think is a meat market.  It has more to do with the dry heaves that your 'fragrance' has sent me into.  Frankly, I get to see people that look way better than you, and take fitness (and, to be honest, personal hygiene as well) much more seriously than you on a regular basis, but thanks again for the compliment you paid me by running on the treadmill next to the only other occupied one in the joint.  I'll remember that when I see (and attempt to avoid) you in the future.

Sincerely,
No, please, stay where you were, I'll find another treadmill.

While we're at it, what do you want to vent about now that winter is here?