Sunday, March 4, 2012

You know you're an endurance athlete if...

You've ever accepted lubrication from strangers.

You know what and where an IT Band is and what it stands for.

You have more used sneakers in your closet than goodwill.

You're always hungry.

People ask you how long your last/next marathon is.

You've ever missed a party because it was the night before a race.

You regularly see the sunrise on a workout.

Spandex is a staple of your wardrobe.

Losing a toenail doesn't bother you.

You know that Ziploc makes a really good sports wallet.

You've ever contemplated what workouts you can still accomplish while injured (then gone and done it).

You've ever dreamed about showing up to a race late, missing gear, or without clothes.

You know how far it is to every intersection within a five mile radius of your house.

You go through sunscreen faster  than you do shampoo.

You can talk about fartleks, body glide, and chafing in your netherbits without giggling.

You have a drawer dedicated to workout clothes, and it's the biggest drawer you have.

You carry a pair of running shoes in your car.

You stopped bothering to scrub off that chain ring tattoo a long time ago.  It'll come off when it comes off. 

You plan  races 6-12 months or more in advance, but you wait to the last minute to book a hotel.

You look forward to the taper, but when it arrives, you're insanely bored.

You've ever said "only" and "10 miles" in the same sentence.

Your commute to work is shorter than most of your workouts.

You have a different set of tan lines for every sport.

You've ever peed behind a tree.

You've ever used frozen vegetables to ice a knee, ankle, etc.

You've ever run or cycled faster just to get away from that dog (snake, deer, skunk, etc).

You can expertly play "Dodge that poop."

You've ever played road games to entertain you while working out (counting beer cans, road kill, etc.)

You know how long to wait after eating before you run.

You know how far a kilometer is.

You collect safety pins four at a time.

Your workouts take you to the next city or town and back.

You know cotton is the enemy.

You probably don't wear underwear when you workout.

You answer with your age group if someone asks how old you are.

You pay attention to the weight of your gear.

You've ever planned a vacation around a race.

You wash your workout clothes separately, and/or with special detergent.

You talk about "hammer" or "brick" and it doesn't have anything to do with building something.

You've ever named a bicycle.

Your workout socks are lucky if they last a few months. 

You ever go to work smelling like chlorine.

The letters "DNF" make you cringe.

You've ever met another endurance athlete while working out and exchanged numbers/emails so you have a new workout buddy.

You base your workout routes on where the rest stops/bathrooms/water fountains are.

You might have more than one bicycle, but there's a really good reason for each.

You have a pair of sneakers for running, a pair of sneakers for the gym, a pair of shoes for cycling, a pair of sneakers for wearing around town, etc.

You know the difference between physically tough and mental toughness, and that you can have one without the other.

People don't believe you when you tell them how old you are.

People don't believe you when you tell them how much you weigh.

You've convinced a few people to start being more athletic/healthy.

Got any to add?  Post them here!


  1. Your friends stop inviting you to events because you say, "Let's just bike there. It's only 20 miles."

    You've had CO2 cartridges confiscated by airport security.

    You have a Google calender dedicated to rides and races.